yo

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? -the last person I text is a girl, so no.
2. You talked to an ex today, correct? -no
3. Have you taken someones virginity? -I still a virgin duh
4. Is trust a big issue for you? -yep
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? -I do no like anybody, so nope
6. What are you excited for? -food (ps : I'm really hungry right now)
7. What happened tonight? -well maybe I'm going to pack my things or I'm going to my cousin's house
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? -depends. if she really needs it, then no. if they doesn't need it but do it, then yes.
9. Is confidence cute? -sometimes
10. What is the last beverage you had? -teh ais
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? -nobody
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? - yes
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? -reading some books/drawing/listening to music/do homework
14. What are you going to spend money on next? -back to school stuff
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? -idk
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? -yes
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? -with people who I trusted the most
18. The last time you felt broken? -when I have fight with ex-best friend
19. Have you had sex today? -no
20. Are you starting to realize anything? -yes, my ex-best friend is bipolar
21. Are you in a good mood? -no, I'm hungry and I just saw my ex-best friend on my tumblr dashboard
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? -yes, it must be cool to see people (fish) afraid of you
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? -uh yes, my mom has the black color
24. What do you want right this second? -mac book pro, food
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? -I thought we had a thing
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? -YES! and I like it very much
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? -no
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? -uh uh!! I know. last night I was reading a book name 'Prank War' and it is really funny xD
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? -idk
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? -some people
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? -the last boy is my cousin so no.
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? -nooo
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? -nope
34. Listening to? -Requiem for a Dream by Clint Mansell
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? -yes and I love pencil so much
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? -idk
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? -idk
38. Who did you last call? -my dad i think
39. Who was the last person you danced with? -I dance alone
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? -we were playing 'kawin kawin'
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? -idk
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? -no
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? -every time ugh
44. Do you tan in the nude? -nope
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? -uh idk
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? -no. I was reading a book
47. Who was the last person to call you? -Madam Renuka and she asked me about could we have an interview on this Sunday about her assignment
48. Do you sing in the shower? -no but my cousin always does it. such a shame
49. Do you dance in the car? -yes
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? -yes! when I was a kid and it's kinda hard bc I'm a bit weak
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? -before going to Thailand for a passport
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? -yes
53. Is Christmas stressful? -idk
54. Ever eat a pierogi? -what is that?
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? -blueberry, strawberry
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? -scientist
57. Do you believe in ghosts? -idk
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? -yes
59. Take a vitamin daily? -no
60. Wear slippers? -no
61. Wear a bath robe? -secret
62. What do you wear to bed? -nothing. haha kidding. depends on the weather
63. First concert? -never had one
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? -target, walmart
65. Nike or Adidas? -adidas
66. Cheetos Or Fritos? -cheetos
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? -sunflower seeds
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? -wait I forgot the title but it goes like "your on the phone when..."
69. Ever take dance lessons? -no haha
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? -eating/sleeping
71. Can you curl your tongue? -yes
72. Ever won a spelling bee? -no
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? -yes
74. What is your favorite book? -I have many
75. Do you study better with or without music? -depends
76. Regularly burn incense? -what?
77. Ever been in love? -no
78. Who would you like to see in concert? -casual
79. What was the last concert you saw? -on the internet, bastille 
80. Hot tea or cold tea? -cold tea
81. Tea or coffee? -tea
82. Favorite type of cookie? -any type
83. Can you swim well? -no
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? -yes
85. Are you patient? -not really
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? -dj
87. Ever won a contest? -not yet
88. Ever have plastic surgery? -no
89. Which are better black or green olives? -i dont care
90. Opinions on sex before marriage? -cool?
91. Best room for a fireplace? -outside room?
92. Do you want to get married? -yes

Ask

1. How are you? -not so good, I saw my ex-best friend on my tumblr dashboard. kinda annoying

2. If you could murder someone knowing that you would never get caught, no one would ever know, you would walk away scott free, how would you do it? -I will using my ninja skill

3. If you had to kill someone that you hate in their home, how would you execute it so as to not get caught? -yep

4. Weapon of choice? -gun, words

5. What do you define as love? -I don't care

6. What would you do in a lucid dream? -kill someone I hate

7. You’re locked in a room with no windows or doors with only a carrot for food and company. (After you eat it a new carrot appears behind you. If you can’t eat carrots… Well then it’s a cucumber). How would you respond after a month? How would you spend your time? How would you try to escape? -I will watch how beautiful the wall is and don't worry about I'm getting bored, because I have many imaginary friends

8. How do you want to die? -in a war

9. Favourite type of cat? -I forgot the name but it is they short leg type

10. If you could own a slave in modern times (of any race/gender/anything), would you? -yep

11. Should people continue to develop AI technology? -well I don't think it really necessary. although it can help us in many things, but once it's broken, it will take a lot of money to mend it. 

12. If you ruled the world, what would you want your residence to look like? -I want my residence to be great at technologies but with harmony relationship and always greets one another in real life

13. What time period would you most want to live in? -tea time

14. What would it take to make you want to kill someone? -me invisible

15. What do you want to be when you grow up? -something to do with technology

16. How many deaths will it take ‘till we know that too many people have died? -3

17. Describe the colour purple. -I think it mixed of blue and red

18. What do you most want to know about your parents? -their experience when they was a kid

19. What will you say to your child when they ask where babies come from? -from your mommy's tummy

20. What do you most want to change in this world? -the way people think

21. How important do you think you are? -30/100

22. What’s the most important thing to make sure a young child knows? -math

23. What makes you feel most alive? -when people need me

24. What would you change about yourself physically if you could change one thing about yourself? -teeth

25. How do you want to meet your true love (if you already have, how did you meet? How would you have wanted to meet?) -in a fight/competition

26. Perfect date? -something to do with nature

27. How do you want to be remembered? -my smile, laugh

28. How do you think the universe began? -yep

29. Biggest dream? -to be the admin of all technologies

30.  What, in your opinion, is the most frightening or most interesting method of torture? -taking someone you love

1. apakah perbezaan pembelajaran sejarah menggunakan protal sejarawan maya dengan pembelajaran sejarah sebelum ini
2. semasa menggunakan potal sejarawanmaya adakah anda menggunakan link yg diberikan atau mencari sendiri sumber digital sejarah yg diberikan
3. adakah guru sebelum in imenggunakan sumber digital sejarah dalam pembelajarannya, jika ya apakah jenis digital digunakan.
4. apakah jenis sumber digital yg menjadi pilihan anda, gambar, peta, video,
5. apakah perbezaan dari segi aktiviti sejarawan dengan aktiviti pembelajaran sejarah sebelumini
6. apa masalah dihadapi dalam menghadapi sejarawan maya
7. cadangan penambah baikan

answered

1: Last book you read?

Prank war

2: Favourite song/s of all time?

t.A.T.u - Ya Soshla s uma

3: If you had 3 wishes what would they be?

- I'm not a lazy butt

- I have great future

- my dreams come true

4: Virgin?

yes

5: Describe your perfect partner?

i dont know

6: If you could change 3 things about yourself, what would they be?

- I'm not lazy

- I'm pretty

- I'm a good daughter

7: 3 things you like best about you?

- quite good at making friends

- flexible

- idk

8: 3 things you like best about your bestfriend?

i dont have bestfriend. sorry

9: Pretend to write a letter to your dad, what would you say?

hi dad. I'm hungry. hehe kidding. I'm sorry for being not so good daughter. and thanks for everything.

10: Pretend to write a letter to your mum, what would you say?

hi mom. I'm sorry for being a bad daughter but thanks for everything.

11: Pretend to write a letter to your crush, what would you say?

hi crush, I like you. 

12: Dream Job?

something to do with ICT

13: Favourite place to travel?

New Zealand

14: Describe you first kiss?

no

15: Describe your last kiss?

no

16: Most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?

compliment me

17: Most traumatic thing that has ever happened to you?

trusting to someone

18: Any Regrets?

no

19: Whats your New Years resoulution?

DONT ME LAZY YOU FAT ASS

20: Confess a dark secret?

I dont trust to anybody

21: Celebrity crush?

Matt Bomer <3

22: Describe your current situation?

hungry

23: Something that made you happy today?

food yay, no cat. le chat noir at the back of the house

24: Something that made you sad today?

i'm hungry (now)

25: If you could be a shark, elephant or cat, which one would you be and why?

Cat because everyone loves cat.

26: Sports you play?

Taekwondo and karate

27: What would you prefer to be doing right now?

homework

28: How many blogs do you own?

4

29: Any hobbies?

reading, eating, surfing internet

30: Last time you surprised yourself with something great?

I have talent

31: If you had the courage to go up to your crush and say anything, it would be?

how are you?

32: What kind of blogs do you like?

i like everything

33: Favourite number?

7

34: Look to your left, what do you see straight away?

barrel

35: Look to your right, what do you see straight away?

wall

36: Worst experience/ memory?

loss trust

37: Best experience/ memory?

have someone who understand me

38: Ever donated to a charity?

yes

39: Last time someone made you really smile?

at easy add math, the teacher calls me 'kuntum' (flower)

40: Last time someone made you cry?

Iha, when we have a deep conversation

41: If you could have any url, what would it be?

people.org

42: Favourite Disney movie?

MULAN I & MULAN II

43: What underwear are you wearing right now?

lace fabric, creamy color

44: Back, abs or arm muscles on a guy?

ALL

45: Do you prefer boobs or butt on a girl?

boobs

46: Something that always make you smile?

food

47: Last thing you bought?

book

48: List 2 things on your bucketlist?

mac book pro, library

49: List 2 things on your Christmas/ birthday list?

all apple products, books

50: Something that turn you on?

g-spot. lol kidding. um, man like Matt Bomerrrrrrr

51: Something that turns you off?

fart

52: Follower count?

idk

53: Who is your favourite blogger?

me duh

54: What is the dominant colour in your room?

pink -,-

55: An expensive house or expensive car?

house? idk. car? lamborghini

56: If you had a choice of diamonds or gold, you would choose?

gold

57: First letter of your crush’s name?

i dont have one

58: Confess your sluttiest secret? 

it's a secret! i cant tell :P

59: what swear word do you tend to use the most?

shit, fuck,

60: You would describe yourself as?

bored

61: Are you happy with your appearance?

no

62: Try write your name on the keyboard with you non-dominant hand and eyes closed?

adroana (adriana)

63: Any bad habits?

drink using left hand

64: What day is your birthday?

3rd Feb

65: Last lie you told?

secret :p

66: Ever done something bad to impress someone of the opposite sex?

everytime

67: What came first, the chicken or the egg?

chicken

68: Favourite dessert?

ice cream

69: Describe how you flirt?

laugh ugh lame

70: Ever been on a date?

no

71: How are you sitting/laying right now?

like a dive

72: First thing you notice about a guy?

hand

73: First thing you notice about a girl?

eyes

74: Favourite place to shop?

book store

75: Play an instrument?

no

76: What’s your guilty pleasure?

make people feel guilty

77: Do you workout?

sometime

78: Biggest fear?

on the highway

79: Been in love?

nope

80: Favourite tv shows?

dont have one

81: Ever hurt somebody for the benefit of yourself?

yes and sorry

82: What were you doing at 9pm last night?

in the car

83: First thing you did when you woke up this morning?

open my eyes

84: Do you like shy or confident guy/girls?

confident ! + a bit shy

85: How many real best friends do you have?

0

86: When you look in the mirror, what is the first thing that draws your attention?

pimples

87: Any nicknames?

A'a, Double A, Battery AA

88: Do you find smoking attractive?

NO

89: Do you find tattoos attractive?

not really

90: favourite bands?

tatu, hudson taylor, bastille, imagine dragon

91: Sexual fantasies?

huh?

92: Most visited website?

tumblr, facebook, twitter

93: Hugs or kisses?

both

94: Blonde or Brown hair?

brunette

95: Awkward situations you always seem to be caught in?

err sitting alone?

96: Last thing you ate?

rice

97: Ever had a homosexual experience?

no

98: Describe how you want your future to be?

i want to be in a middle class type, with my lovely hub, with 4 kids, good carrier, full of laugh and smile

99: Are you happy with your life right now?

no

I'm an open book.

1 Who was the last person you held hands with?

Iha

2 Are you outgoing or shy?

usually I'm outgoing except when I'm with 'someone'

3 Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Cousins

4 Are you easy to get along with?

my friends said yes

5 If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yes, bc I would like to make he laugh

6 What kind of people are you attracted to?

secret :p

7 Do you think you'll be in a relationship 2 months from now?

no, I have SPM next year (2 months from now)

8 Who from the opposite gender is on you mind?

I can't think of anybody! well, I'll choose em.. ugh no one

9 Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

no

10 Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Iha, on the camp

11 What does that most recent text that you sent say?

'balik' to my mom. seriously

12 What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

- (rihanna) You Da One

- (hudson & taylor) Care

- (imagine dragon) Bleeding Out

- (lana del rey) Blue Jeans

- (coldplay) Viva La Vida

13 Do you like it when people play with your hair?

ver

14 Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yes

15 What good thing happened this summer?

to many, can't think

16 Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ha ha ha idk

17 Do you think there is life on other planets?

I think so

18 Do you still talk to your first crush?

Hazim? No.

19 Do you like bubble baths?

I don't have one

20 Do you like your neighbors?

Yes, bc they are tough (ya know what i mean)

21 What are your bad habits?

always drink using left hand

22 Where would you like to travel?

New Zealand

23 Do you have trust issues?

sadly, yes

24 Favorite part of your daily routine?

EAT

25 What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

butt

26 What do you do when you wake up?

open my eyes

27 Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

lighter/middle

28 Who are you most comfortable around?

nobody

29 Have any of your ex's told you they regret breaking up?

I dont have ex.

30 Do you ever want to get married?

uh yes?

31 Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yes

32 Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Neymar, Gusttavo Lima, one of they guy in Hudson Taylor (the silent one)

33 Spell your name with your chin.

zdcfrkjzx zx (adriana)

34 Do you play sports? What sports?

Tae Kwon Do, Karate

35 Would you rather live without TV or music?

music

36 Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

always

37 What do you say during awkward silences?

So.... are you hungry?

38 Describe your dream girl/guy?

happy go lucky

39 What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Popular

40 What do you want to do after high school?

study at University

41 Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

no

42 If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I'm hungry

43 Do you smile at strangers?

yes

44 Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space

45 What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

food

46 What are you paranoid about?

result

47 Have you ever been high?

yes (ugh)

48 Have you ever been drunk?

nope

49 Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

he he yes

50 What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

black

52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

become quiet

53 Favorite makeup brand?

carrie junior

54 Favourite store?

you have asked before

55 Favourite blog?

my blog :p

56 Favourite colour?

everything

57 Favourite food?

PIZZA ! You should have not ask this question

58 Last thing you ate?

rice

59 First thing you ate this morning?

pek nga

60 Ever won a competition? For what?

yes, i dont remember

61 Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope

62 Been arrested? For what?

Nope

63 Ever been in love?

with food? yes

64 Tell us the story of your first kiss?

nope, won't tell

65 Are you hungry right now?

VERY

66 Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

used to

67 Facebook or Twitter?

tumblr

68 Twitter or tumblr?

tumblr duh

69 Are ou watching tv right now?

I'm answering questions

70 Names of your bestfriends?

I don't have one.

71 Craving something? What?

food

72 How many pillows do you sleep with?

two. kay, judge me.

73 Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no

74 How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I dont have

75 Favorite animal?

cat

76 What color is your underwear?

seriously?! wait, cream. lace type.

77 Chocolate or vanilla?

both. i can't choose

78 Facourite ice cream flavour?

vanilla

79 What color shirt are you wearing?

black

80 What color pants?

dark blue

81 Favorite tv show?

tatu

82 Favorite movie?

she's the man jyeahhhh

83 Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
Mean Girls ofc

84 Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
I havent watch 21 Jump Street

85 Favorite character from Mean Girls?

Karen Smith bc she dumb

86 Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

that blue fish, i guess his name is Dori?
87 First person you talked to today?

dad?
88 Last person you talked to today?

dad

89 Name a person you hate?

Why 'a'? I have many to list on!

90 Name a person you love?

I dont have one.

91 Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
I have list.

92 In a fight with someone?

with everyone

93 How many sweatpants do you have?

I'm lazy to walk to my room

94 How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

one

95 Last movie you watched?

The Devil Wears Prada ((superb))

96 Favorite actress?
jennifer lawrence

97 Favorite actor?
Logan Lerman

98 Do you tan a lot?
So tan

99 Have any pets?
fish

100 How are you feeling?

hungry

101 Do you type fast?
really fast

102 Do you regret anything from your past?
hell no

103 Can you spell well?
what do you mean?
104 Do you miss anyone from your past?
you mean, everything?

105 Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope, but I want to

106 Ever broken someone's heart?

yes

107 Have you ever been a horse?
yes, they are so heavy

108 What should you be doing?
homework

109 Is something irritating you right now?
yes, headache

110 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

uh yes

111 Do you have trust issues?

yes

112 Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Iha

113 What was your childhood nickname?

A'a

114 Have you ever been out of your state?

yes

115 Do you play the Wii?
no

116 Are you listening to music right now?
No

117 Do you like chicken noodle soup?
Yes

118 Do you like chinese food?

some
119 Favourite book?
The Shy Girl has a Gun

120 Are you afraid of the dark?

yes

121 Are you mean?

sometime

122 Is cheating ever okay?

hell no

123 Can you keep white shoes clean?

NO

124 Do you believe in love at first sight?

no.

125 Do you believe in true love?

maybe

126 Are you currently bored?

very

127 What makes you happy?

pizza

128 Would you change your name?

no, i like it a lot. thanks to my parents

129 What your zodiac sign?

I dont care

130 Do you like subway?
I have try once. Quite good

131 Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Auwm have sex with him. lol kidding. Maybe I like him back, who knows

132 Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Iha

133 Favourite lyrics right now?
"I'm bleeding out
so if the last thing that I do
is to bring you down
i'll bleed out for you

so I bare my skin
and I count my sins

and I close my eyes

and I take it in

I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you, for you."

134 Can you count to one million?
Lazy

135 Dumbest lie you ever told?
"I'm just tired"

136 Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
Close

137 How tall are you?
154cm

138 Curly or straight hair?
Straight. But i like curly hair too

139 Brunette or Blonde?
I am brunette, and I like it.

140 Summer or winter?
I like winter, but I dont like wear cloth. So, both

141 Night or Day?
Midnight, and morning.

142 Favorite month?
december, holiday yo

143 Are you a vegetarian?
I dont touch vegetables

144 Dark, milk or white chocolate?
dark chocolate

145 Tea or coffee?
TEA

146 Was today a good day?
same shite, different day

147 Mars or snickers?

never have one hehe

148 What's your favorite quote?

check out my twitter, and you'll found

149 Do you believe in ghosts?
idk

150 Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what's the first line on that page?

(looking for alaska) "whispered, "If any of 'em are in this class, let me know, OK? Just,"

50 questions, 50 ways to get to know me.

1. What would you name your future daughter?

Alexandra Kathleen

2. Do you miss anyone?

Maybe

3. What if I told you that you were pretty?

Thank you

4. Ever been told "it's not you, it's me"?

No

5. What are looking forward to in the next week?

Homework

6. Did you go out or stay in last night?

Go out with family

7. How late did you stay up last night?

1 AM

8. Honestly, has anyone seen you in you underwear in the past 3 months?

No

9. What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

Playing games

10. Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

I don't think so

11. Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

Of course

12. Have you pretended to like someone?

All the time. (bc I don't want to tell anybody who I really like)

13. Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

Yes

14. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

No.. not really

15. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Yes

16. Think back 5 months ago, were you single?

Yes

17. Have you ever cried from being so mad?

Yeah

18. Hold hands with anyone this week?

Nah

19. Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

I don't even remember when is my last kiss

20. Who did you last see in person?

Syaza?

21. What is the last thing you said out lot?

I don't remember when is the last time I talk

22. Have you kissed 3 or more people in one night?

No

23. Have you ever been to Paris?

No, but I'm learning France

24. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

No

25. Do you use chap stick?

Sometimes

26. Who did you last share a bed with?

Cousin?

27. Are you listening to music right now?

No

28. What is something you currently want right now?

MAC BOOK PRO.

29. Were your last 3 kisses from the same person?

Are done asking me about kiss?

30. How is your heart lately?

Oh I haven't go to the hospital to check my heart

31. Do you were the hood on your hoodie?

No

32. When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

When I was a kid?

33. What do people call you?

A'a, Double A, Battery AA

34. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn't?

Yes

35. Are there any stressful situations in your life?

All the time

36. What are you listening to right now?

Hailsham School Song from Never Let Me Go movie

37. What is wrong with you right now?

I haven't finished my homework but I really want to = lazy

38. Love really is beautiful thing huh?

So it's a thing?

39. Do you make wishes at 11:11?

I used to

40. What is on your wrists right now?

Vein

41. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

I don't get it

42. Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you're wearing?

Dad/Mom

43. Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Err I don't know

44. Have you hugged someone within the last week?

I'm in holidays and I haven't meet anyone duh

45. Have you kissed anyone in the last 5 days?

I'm so done with kiss questions

46. What were yo doing at midnight last night?

You really want to know? Seriously? ((reading))

47. Do you miss the way things were 6 months ago?

So 6 months ago, I was studying in class. Uh I guess maybe

48. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

Who is someone else?

49. Have you ever been to New York?

Nope

50. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

Maybe.

Where were you?

When I fist started getting bad, you said you'd be here.

Where were you when I started cutting?

Where were you when I started drinking?

Where were you when I went to the doctors scared?

Where were you when I had that breakdown at 2 am?

Where were you when I tried to commit suicide?

You promised you'd be here. Where were you?

Every day is different but the same.

Day after day goes by, most things stay the same

But not all; every day something new starts

Or finishes. Or keeps going like a game -

The players continue on playing their parts.

When the clouds darken up the sky above

Everyone runs. Trying to avoid the rain,

Waiting for the clouds to part

And the sun to bring back its love;

The love that makes the day everyone's gain.

Rare as the rainbow that rarely graces

The sky, as glorious as the sun's rays,

Pure as snow with no trace of swift paces,

Love makes every day unique but a daze.

Every day is different but the same.

Every day people start playing the game.

OH PLEASE, just shut up!!!

Talking and talking why don't you just shut up?

Saying things and I don't care.

I've a headache, my brain is blowing.

And you are talking and don't want to stop..

Talking and talking with no pause.

Taking a breath is not an option.

Words and sentences with no meanings.

Will you reach your point I wonder!

Leave me alone, I can't take it anymore.

Leave me alone, let me breathe.

Leave me alone, or I'll kill you.

Leave me alone, I want some peace.

My neck was frozen, I can't look left or right.

Your talking is so boring and so as you.

I closed my eyes for a while.

Hoping you vanish or go away.

Then the noise has stopped.

Peace at last I thought.

Peace at last I hoped.

Peace at last with no talk.

Peace at last with no YOU.

Then I felt some one poking me.

It was you again with a big smile on your face.

It was you again waking me up from my dream.

It was you again with your talking.

Oh my god, why don't you just shut up??

OH PLEASE, just shut up!!!

Now, now - The Pull

Find a thread to pull and we can watch it unravel

The lines we both have sewn to form the fabric of a fragile home

We'll spend a month apart

At least I know when you'll be coming home

But this is just the start

We'll find out who we are

A hint of light in the dark

But only enough to keep from giving up

If I could go back to the start

To break the pattern forming between us

THE STORY OF A BLIND GIRL

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"

The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying :

"just take care of my eyes dear."

This is how human brain changes when the status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.

Life is a Gift

• Today before you think of saying an unkind word - think of someone who can't speak.
• Before you complain about the taste of your food - think of someone who has nothing to eat.
• Before you complain about your husband or wife - think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.
• Today before you complain about life - think of someone who went too early to heaven.
• Before you complain about your children- think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
• Before you argue about you dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep - think of the people who are living in the streets.
• Before whining about the distance you drive - think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
• And when you are tired and complain about your job - think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
• But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
• And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - put a smile on you face and thank God you're alive and still around.
• Life is a gift - Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.

The Rain

It's raining outside

and

These beautiful things

shining through my tears

will feel the drops

but never know my fears

how could they if I don't?

Rain drops

Falling from the trees

into the sky

and you never ask why

ignore the dots in the sky

they're not there

Rain falls

on tattooed tough guys

littering sidewalks with spit

say they're trying to quit

cigs for the sixth time

and he's tired of lie

tied together to hide

his head when he cries

from better eyes

It's raining outside

Slight stirrings before sunrise

split seconds of conscientiousness

before slipping into a sea of dreams

I always have the most vivid dreams

while the sun is rising

It's raining outside

but not in here

not in my head not in my head

You know what hurts?

When someone suddenly starts acting distant with you, for no reason. When things suddenly changed without any explanation. When a certain routine stops out of nowhere, and you're just kinda stuck in a situation where you don't know what to do, whether to move on and forget about everything because it looks like that the other person did it so easily or to confront them.

this poem is dedicated to

the people who look in the mirror

and think I'm not good enough

the people who guard themselves

with walls higher than the empire state buildin

the people who don't need water

to feel like they're drowning

the people who are in love

but no loved in return

the people who have feelings

that can't be forgotten

the people who have thoughts more tangled

than the headphones in my pocket

This poem is dedicated to

all the people who are human

but still strive for impossible perfection

you are not alone

l.m.

A letter

dear depression,

you need to leave me alone already. everyday you're screaming at me and telling me how terrible i am. you make me replay every mistake i've ever made. and you humiliate me on a daily basis. you've made it impossible to be happy. or have any  connection with my friends and family. i am so sick of you controlling me. the sooner you leave the better off i will be. don't come back either. i never want you to be apart of my life again. i hate you. and i hate myself for ever letting you in my head.

sincerely,

me.

Sadness

There are two types of sadness

there's that kind

that i want to get rid of

so i watch friends

listen to happy music 

find someone to talk to

then there's 

the other one

when you know you're sad

but you want to

isolate yourself

and just drown 

in the pool of emotions

listen to sad music

read quotes about life

drink tea

and

basically just feel empty.

[j.k.]

Wallflower

I think I am a wallflower.

Someone who observes life instead of experiencing it

A good listener who doesn't judge

Socially awkward

Not many friends

I'm the type that does well in school

I stay up all night to finish an amazing book

I love art but I'm horrible at creating it

I love boy bands and old music

I'd like to think I'm a nice person

But who am I kidding

I'm crazy

I fell hopelessly in love with this guy

Who couldn't accept me

I grew tired of being normal

So I quit because I like me.

Dear diary,

The urges came back

I'm feeling the darkness

consuming me

again,

and it hurts

I thought I would

beat it this time

but I didn't 

I am not strong enough

I never was.

I slide a blade

through my skin

again,

and what scares me

is that it feels

so much better

than before.

(e.t)

Alive.

I could write all night.

But I could never put into words

how I feel about you.

Or how you make me feel

                                  So alive.

Nothing I say can do my feelings justice.

All I know is whenever you're around,

I feel better about everything.

(b.a.w)

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF

STOP ALL CRITICISM.

Criticism never changes a thing. Accept yourself as you are. Everybody changes, and when you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are postive.

DON'T SCARE YOURSELF.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

BE GENTLE, KIND AND PATIENT. 

Be hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts, but gently change your thoughts.

PRAISE YOURSELF.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Tell yourself how well you're doing with every little thing.

SUPPORT YOURSELF. 

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It shows strength to ask for help.

BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES. 

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. As you find new, positive ways to fulfill those needs, you can release the old negative patterns.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. 

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the person you are.

MIRROR WORK.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day say "I love you."

DO IT NOW.

Don't wait until you get well, lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now - do the best you can.

Too Busy

Busy people..

Oh so busy people..

You step real hard when you walk real fast

With your busy scowls on your busy faces

Making busy wrinkles in your busy forehead

From thinking all those

Wondrous.. and

Special..

Busy thoughts..

Damn sho too busy to

Make small talk.. or

Ask about.. or

Even be pleasant to

Us regular people..

Oh so busy..

Would make an old man wait for 6 hours

For the answer to a 5 minute question..

Cuz you busy..

Too busy to even answer the phone

Especially.. If you know who's callin'..

Sho too busy.. Way too busy..

To answer

For the likes of me.. or even him.. cuz

That's not what you busy people do..

We should all

Just be happy

To have your

Wondrous.. and

Special.. and 

Busy self

To be

Ignored by

But Oh Mr. Busy..

One day..

Mayhap..

You will look up from you busy-ness.. and

Find that there are 

No more some bodies

To step past real hard.. or

To dismiss.. as unimportant

With your busy scowl and busy wrinkled forehead

No more callers

To ignore.. or un-pleasantries to share

Cuz you, yourself, have gotten

Unpleasantly old

And every body else

Is just too busy..

Carla Marie

When She was Sixteen

When she was sixteen, she swore to herself,

She would blow a balloon so big

It would touch the sky;

She would blow a balloon so huge

It would caress the heavens

And angels could sit on it and dine.

her balloon, her balloon

Would twist the sun's rays into myriads of rainbows

And the rainbows would crown the earth in a halo of light.

her balloon, her balloon..

The balloon blown from her own two lips,

Made from the efforts of their own two lungs.

Would bring beauty to the world.

And she was sure she could,

When she was sixteen.

For sixteen, that sweet, sweet sixteen

It was a threshold of magic and song

Toes of a child leading

The dance into the mystic depths of adulthood.

Sixteen,

The time when maturity and sobriety coats like chiffon

Soft and warm and welcome.

She would spin and twirl and the chiffon

Would billow and blow about her knees

And she would bask in the beauty of it all.

The balloon within her grew and grew;

Tingles ran through her

From the tips of her hair to the hips of her toes

She felt light as air and free as wind

And she let forth a burble of laughter.

The lands and seas seemed bright and beautiful

As she announced to the world;

Wouldn't it be wonderful

And wouldn't it be beautiful,

If for my sweet sixteen I blew

The biggest balloon ever in the whole entire world?

Her aunt frowned and said,

"You can't be serious, it's impossible!"

Her uncle simply shook his head,

"Absolutely, you can't do that"

And her sister snorted and said,

"For God's sake you're turning sixteen not six,

You're speaking like a child."

Beneath her toes she felt the cold marble floor

Her hair pulled on her head.

With blinking eyes and shaking lips

She turned to her parents

Her father, ever practical, had questions,

"Where would you put it?"

"How could you blow it?"

"And where on earth would you find that much rubber?"

Her mother smoothed her hand over her head

And looked at her with a sad little smile,

"Honey, she said, be realistic"

"You're turning sixteen in just a day"

"You're going to be a woman, full-fledged and beautiful"

"You will do great deeds in you life,"

"But sweetie, it's time you grew up"

That's, after all, what sixteen is for.

All the bubbles vanished,

The rainbows in the clouds cracked.

Their words shot like needles from their mouths

Prodding at the balloon of her dreams

At her magnificent balloon, light as air,

Radiant and majestic,

Poking, prodding, tearing.

Her mother's hand,

Which so softly and kindly patted her head

Seemed heavy as a rock,

Flattening her pushing her towards

The hard, unyielding ground.

The dam cracked, the flood came

And they all they could do was watch on,

In confusion, in such frustration.

It was nearing midnight,

Eleven-fifty-nine to be exact.

This very day,

Sixteen full years ago,

A girl danced and sang her way into the world.

And sixteen full years from that every day,

A girl sat and watched the midnight sky.

She watched a little girl with a dress so light

Run away towards the moon

Leaping and spinning, twirling and dancing.

Her hand clutched the string of an almighty balloon

And as she ran, as the minute hand ticked, slowly, unfalteringly,

The little girl faded, her balloon merged with the moon.

Then the minute hand struck twelve and she was not sixteen

Anymore but sixteen and a day.

Chiffon morphed into cotton,

And although cotton still billowed and blew

It inevitably floated nearer the ground.

And she knew, deep in her heart,

That one day cotton would harden

Into wool, into leather, into mail

But when those days came she would welcome them

For she could keep her air-light balloon safe in her heart.

Right next to her lungs

Where she could blow on them whenever she wished.

It would be small, fist-sized instead of reaching the skies,

Yet it would be strong as stone,

For nothing then could pierce through her and her balloon.