Goodbye.

http://www.wattpad.com/17873384-save-me-from-myself-goodbye#.Uahy0dJHJxU

As I was on wattpad, I found this girl who made the poem 'Revenge'. So, I sent a request to write a poem for me. So here we are :

Goodbye;

You traced my wounds,

and kissed my scars,

Made me feel as though,

I was floating on stars.

You held my hand tight,

Promised we'd get through,

Then everything changed,

I wasn't good enough for you.

She's skinnier and prettier,

Her life isn't a mess,

She's easier to deal with,

Just confess.

Don't tell me a lie,

I just want to know,

Will you take her everywhere,

We used to go?

Will she get the bracelet,

You gave with your heart,

When you promised me forever,

At the very start?

Will she become the photo,

For the background of your phone,

The one you always look at,

When you're feeling alone?

Tell me the truth,

I don't want another lie,

End it quick and leave,

Before I start to cry.

But when it all goes down,

She starts to back away,

Don't come back to me,

Don't use me that way.

I know I said forever,

But right now I don't care.

You left me hurting,

So your pain is only fair.

I don't need you anymore,

Now that I'm happy and free,

So I'm leaving you behind,

You're just another memory.

Forgive you?

So after a few months we didn't talk, she send me message :

Assalamualaikum :)

Weh, aku ada benda nak bagitau ni. Firstly, aku nak mintak maaf atas kejahilan aku sbb tak pernah sedar yg aku pernah buat hang terasa.

And aku jugak nak minta maaf bila aku tak jadi kawan bila kau mmg perlukan seorang kawan.

Well, i was offered to sbpi tun abdul razak. it was unexpected. tapi aku kena pergi. harus pergi.

Aku takut sebenarnya, tapi aku kena berani. Sampai bila nak jadi pengecut kan?

Aku tak minta banyak. Pls forgive me dari hujung rambut hingga hujiung kaki. and wish me luck. Thanks for everything :)

((p/s; sotong yg hang bagi tu aku simpan lagi.))

assalamualaikum adriana azizan :)

Yea, congratulation. Just, I really wanna tell you if you come back to home online so whatever, just please don't talk to me. Or I will not forgive you forever. You are the one can ruin my days my weeks my months my years.

The Girl.

the girl that used to walk
into my house
like it was her own
and could take soda
from my fridge comfortably

was

the same girl who used to share
snacks with me
on a Friday night
as we sat together
in my room
and slept in her bed
while I slept on the floor

and she began to resent me

and then
she became a girl
I didn't recognize
and she didn't even wave
when I walked past her

I guess I was only
her friend until
someone better
showed up

I think I should stop post poem like this. It changed nothing. I should move on.

The End

Who ever thought it'd get this far?
I guess I just lost track of time
We had some fun
And we became friends
But everything dies eventually
So why don't you just die already
You really want to know more about me?
What's to say?
I prefer it dark than day
I am allied with dislike of day
We live on a floating rock
Surrounded by seemingly endless darkness
These words aren't what I took from you
I was born like this
To serve a purpose
To bring you down a peg or two
To everyone else our bitter hatred seems irrational
Well we aren't everyone else
So why can't you just seem to accept
That you were wrong and I was right
I have won and you have lost
Because you forced me away
And now I know it shouldn't have gotten this far
So I ask, how did it get this far in the first place?

Revenge.

Your words really hurt,
Bring me to my knees,
Why do treat me so bad,
Like I'm a dog with fleas?

I never said anything to you,
Never called you any names,
But yet I've been pulled in,
To your sick little games.

These cutes right here,
Are dedicated to you,
The blood on my wrist,
Is from the things you do.

I feel like ending everything,
But you still need to learn,
My souls been destroyed,
I think it's your turn.

I'll get my chance,
Watch your back,
Pretty soon you will,
Be under my attack.

Maybe I've lost the plot,
Probably gone crazy,
The red in my eyes,
Makes everything hazy.

I hope you get hurt,
Worse than I ever did,
A painful death, To you I bid.

I hope you can change,
Just realize your mistake,
Or else we can go,
On a quick trip to the lake.

Don't bother running,
I promise I will find you,
Drag you below the surface,
Until your body turns blue.

I'm not a murderer,
It's all in my head,
It's scary how much,
I want you dead.

It's not your fault.

Move on

Cut the ropes

Meet your friends

Don't forgive him/her

Keep yourself busy

But also allow yourself

to be sad

Build a box -> put her/his stuff in it

Say goodbye

Eat healthy food

Do stuff that make you

feel good (beauty, sport, etc)

What's wrong

One of the scariest feelings in life is when you realize you aren't afraid to die. You don't look when you cross the road anymore. When you take pills you take however many come out. You're not afraid when you hear those creepy creaking noises in your house anymore, because you hope they'll get you. You seek out dangerous things, because you want to die. You stop caring about yourself, totally and completely. Nothing about you matters anymore, and at some point you look at yourself and become scared of yourself. Because you're a monster, one who only hurts itself. And that's scary. When you don't have any tears left. When you're the girl with the angry red lines on her arms and legs. When you feel like it's a battle that you will never win. When you lay in bed at night in the dark for a countless amount of hours thinking about how much of a screw up you are. When you're so tired that you don't have any tears left. Once depression consumes you, you're long gone; far from repair. Suicide seems so scary but at times it may feel like it's the only answer. And that's scary.