It makes me sick, the way
the sadness is addicting. The way
I can't stop. Sadness is familiar.
It's comfortable and it's easy
in a sense that it comes
naturally to me. But everything
else about it is hard. The
way my body aches with
self-hatred. The way my mind
spins and spins with hopeless
thoughts. The way it poisons
everything I do, every relationship
I have. Yes it's addicting,
because I know sadness, and I
know it every well. And there's
a sort of comfort in that, like
being home after a trip of sleeping
in your own bed after being
away. There's just a sense that this
is where I belong. This is how it's
supposed to be.
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